


Forgotten Memories

by carterhack



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gay Richie Tozier, Honestly this is just canon, M/M, Memory Loss, Richie and Eddie are basically soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-10-01 19:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20382391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carterhack/pseuds/carterhack
Summary: Richie's trying to move on from a past he doesn't remember, but it catches up with him in ways that shouldn't be possible.





	Forgotten Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Myronia Warriors. Y'all are great!

Richie drummed his fingers against the white tablecloth, humming softly to himself as he waited. He wondered why guys from dating sites always took so long getting to the actual date. Was it a pride thing? Did people think it made them more cool to show up late to a date? He wondered if girls did this. Was the stereotype that girls took longer or that they hated being late? His mind wandered to what it would be like to date a girl when his date finally arrived.

“Hi,” The man smiled, sitting across from him at the table. Richie blinked, looking across at the man. He seemed like his type enough. He could tell he was shorter than him, even sitting down. Not by a ton, but by enough. He had a neat swoop of dark hair and sparkling eyes that reminded him of… something. Something indistinct and yet completely indescribable. Most of his dates were like that. He liked certain people for very specific reasons without really knowing why. Maybe he just had a very specific type. 

“Hey,” Richie cracked a smile at him. “You’ve just successfully got a date with a serial killer.” Unfortunately, the guy did not look at all amused by his joke. He had a vague memory of laughter. It was a random, strange memory, but he couldn’t stop picturing the same laugh in his head. It was a cute, soft laugh that rose in volume slowly. Somehow he knew this was a memory of someone laughing at one of his jokes. A real, genuine laugh. He frowned when he couldn’t put a name or face to the laugh, nor the scenario of which the memory came from. God, he had such a terrible memory sometimes. Oh, right. He was on a date. He looked up and he was met with a paired of annoyed eyes. They, suddenly, weren’t so sparkly anymore.

“Sorry,” he coughed. “Just because… we met on a dating app, and… nevermind,” He waved his hands in dismissal.

“Right,” The other man, Richie remembered his name from his profile as Edmund, cleared his throat. He liked the name, Edmund. He didn’t know why, but he always liked names like that. Ed, Edmund, Eduardo, Edwin, Edison. There was just something familiar about names like it. Maybe it was just another lost memory, but he just had a strange fascination with Ed-based names. “Well, what do you like to do?” 

“I like to make people laugh,” Richie smiled, trying to lighten the mood from earlier. It seemed to work, somewhat. It launched the conversation of jobs and both of their careers, not stopping until they had ordered their food. It was a nice, respectable conversation. No major chemistry, just nice small talk. He wished that he wasn’t expecting instant chemistry with every guy he met. It was so unrealistic, especially on a first date, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help yearning for this idea of a perfect guy. A guy who he was comfortable with no matter what. It was an unrealistic standard, of course, he didn’t even stay with guys long enough to have that. That didn’t stop him from wishing he’d find that with someone someday, though. He wanted it so badly that it was almost as if he missed it. As if he had something like that before. That’s where it got so completely unrealistic and stupid. He worried about this until a plate of food was sat down in front of him.

“You’re lost in thought a lot, huh?” Edmund chuckled, picking up his fork. You have no idea, Richie though before realizing he hadn’t answered aloud. He was a mess.

“Yeah, I guess,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not good at this whole dating thing, it would be better if dates were just food and dick, no talking involved.” He should be better at this. How many dates has he gone on in just the past few months alone? Dating was so exhausting. 

“Yeah,” Edmund laughed. “Second dates are always better.” Richie, suddenly, was filled with the urge to leave. It’s a good thing, Richie had to remind himself. He should want to go on second dates with people. He should, in the least, want to go on a date with a guy for more than just one date. Why couldn’t he do that? He hated feeling like he was constantly trying to get over someone and wasn’t ready to move on. He hasn’t even ever been in an actual serious relationship before. And as much as he feels like he knows what being in love feels like, the reality was that he has never even been in love before. 

“Yeah,” Richie nodded, looking down at his plate. Had they already finished eating? 

“You want to get dessert?” Edmund was leaning in way too close now, and Richie just wasn’t in the mood. He leaned back. 

“No, sorry,” Richie shook his head and smiled sincerely. “I have work in the morning and I really should get going.” 

“Okay, another time,” Edmund smiled. Yet another distant memory flashed across Richie’s mind. This time it was a smile. His heart yearned to remember where the smile came from, but instead, he was just met with an ache in his chest. He shook his head. He needed to go to sleep. 

“Yeah, another time,” Richie nodded, not sure if that other time was actually going to happen but not wanting to be rude. They finished up paying for the meal and leaving a tip before walking out into the warm night. 

“I’ll text you, yeah?” Edmund asked and Richie nodded before turning slightly, watching as the other man walked away. He didn’t really feel any sort of connection, but he made a promise to himself to at least consider a second date. He really needed to get over this irrational idea that he had this special guy out there somewhere waiting for him. It was stupid. 

He sighed, rubbing his eyes as he got to his car, getting in and starting the engine. He sat there for a moment, tapping on the steering wheel before plugging his phone into the car, clicking onto a song before rolling the windows. He started driving then, the warm wind blowing through his hair and the music sounding out through the car. _It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. I bless the rains down in Africa. Gonna take some time to do the things we never had…. _

He was struck by a sudden deja-vu moment where he could practically feel a person sitting next to him, singing along to the lyrics with him and laughing. He could hear the laughter from earlier, piercing through the music. He could see the smile he couldn’t seem to remember, and it pulled at his heartstrings. He swallowed dryly, all of the oxygen seeming to dissipate from the car. He choked out a dry sob, emotion seeping through him before it as all gone in an instant. He shook slightly, staring ahead at the road. He was left in a state of emptiness other than a dull pain in his chest and sudden exhaustion. 

Richie held on to the wheel tightly as he pulled into his driveway, staring out the windshield mindlessly for a moment before shutting the car off and going up to his place. He yawned as he got in, kicking off his shoes and going to his bathroom. He went through a sleepy process of pissing, brushing his teeth, taking all the clothes but his boxers off, and crawling into his bed. His bed always felt too big. Sometimes he thought about just buying a smaller one, but then it would be harder to bring guys over. It just made it harder to be alone, having a bed of this size. He constantly found himself wishing someone was beside him. Someone to lay next to him and hog the blankets and kick him in his sleep. He didn’t know why all of those strange specific reasons made him wish he had someone with him during the night. Maybe he was just fucking weird. 

Richie must have been really weird, too, because he drifted to sleep to the faint memory of a warm body next to him and a smile he couldn’t quite remember. His dreams were all filled with memories of the same boy, but they were out of his mind when he woke up the next morning. 


End file.
